Marmite, you either love it or you hate it
16 year old Stephen Barton, a pupil at one of England's
leading fee paying schools, returned from school for his
Christmas holidays in what appeared to be some measure
of discomfort.
When quizzed by his mother, he said that he had received
a "low blow" during a game of rugby and was sure that the
passage of time would heal all ills.
Unfortunately this proved not to be the case and on his
third day home he was unable to walk. His mother insisted
he visit the family doctor, a demand to which the incapacitated
Stephen succumbed.
On arrival at the surgery Stephen carefully removed his
underwear to reveal that his scrotum was swollen to nearly four
times it's natural size and was bruised almost entirely black
with a number of small puncture wounds to the right hand side
showing clear signs of established infection.
The doctor, realising that he was not personally equipped as a
GP to properly treat such a "sporting" injury immediately called
an ambulance to take his patient to hospital.
Stephen was rushed into hospital where he immediately underwent
surgery to properly investigate and remedy the injury. The
infection was advanced and Stephen ended up having his right
testicle removed as the infection appeared to have spread into
the gland.
To his surprise, the surgeon removed what were later identified
as "a large number of brown glass splinters" from the boy's
scrotum and the highly infected (and now ex) testicle. It was
the surgeon's opinion that these had been "introduced" to
Stephen's nether regions at the time of the injury.
Realising that this was not as it had first appeared, Stephen's
mother asked what kind of assault he had been a victim of with
the intention of taking serious issue with his not inexpensive
school as to how such an accident could occur.
In an effort not to make a fuss Stephen admitted to the
following episode:
At an unofficial end of term Christmas party after lights out,
Stephen had drunkenly accepted a bet with the boys in his dorm
that he could not fit both his testicles into a medium sized
Marmite jar.
With drunken confidence, and in order to win a large sum of money
from his fellow students, Stephen did indeed manage to perform the
trick. However, such is the shape of a Marmite pot that Stephen
was not able to remove the pot after winning his money. Much to the
enjoyment of the rest of the party-goers he crept off to the
bathroom to try to remove the pot.
Having been unable to remove the pot for two days and in extreme
discomfort, Stephen took drastic measures and went to the empty
CDT room and with a hammer smashed the pot.
Yes that's right, he smashed a glass pot from around his testicles
with a hammer!
Unsurprisingly, this was not a clinical operation and also where
the damage was really done.
As they say... Marmite, you either love it or you hate it!