Dear Diary
AUG 12 - MOVED TO A NEW HOME IN PENNSYLVANIA. IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL HERE.
THE HILLS ARE SO MAJESTIC, CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE THEM WITH SNOW
COVERING THEM, I LOVE IT HERE.
OCT 14 - PENNSYLVANIA IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE ON EARTH, THE LEAVES
ARE TURNED ALL THE COLORS AND SHADES OF RED AND ORANGE. WENT FOR A
RIDE THROUGH THE BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAINS AND SAW SOME DEER, THEY ARE SO
GRACEFUL, CERTAINLY THEY ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL ANIMALS ON EARTH, THIS
MUST BE PARADISE. LOVE IT HERE.
NOV 11 - DEER SEASON WILL START SOON. I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYONE WANTING TO
KILL SUCH A GORGEOUS CREATURE. HOPE IT WILL SNOW SOON. I LOVE IT
HERE.
DEC 2 - IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT. WOKE UP TO FIND EVERYTHING BLANKETED WITH
WHITE. IT LOOKS LIKE A POSTCARD. WE WENT OUTSIDE AND CLEANED THE SNOW
OFF OF THE STEPS AND SHOVELED OFF THE DRIVEWAY. WE HAD A SNOWBALL
FIGHT (I WON) AND WHEN THE PLOW CAME BY, WE HAD TO SHOVEL THE DRIVEWAY
AGAIN. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE, I LOVE PENNSYLVANIA.
DEC 12 - MORE SNOW LAST NIGHT. I LOVE IT, THE SNOW PLOW DID HIS TRICK
AGAIN TO THE DRIVEWAY. I LOVE IT HERE.
DEC 19 - MORE SNOW LAST NIGHT. COULDN'T GET OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY TO GET
TO WORK. I AM EXHAUSTED FROM SHOVELING. FUCKING SNOW-PLOW.
DEC 22 - MORE OF THE WHITE SHIT FELL LAST NIGHT. I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY
HANDS FROM SHOVELING. I THINK THE SNOW-PLOW HIDES AROUND THE CURVE
AND WAITS UNTIL I'M DONE SHOVELING THE DRIVEWAY, ASSHOLE.
DEC 25 - MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS, MORE FRIGGEN SNOW. IF I EVER GET MY
HANDS ON THE SON-OF-A-BITCH WHO DRIVES THAT SNOW-PLOW, I SWEAR I'LL
KILL THAT BASTARD. DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DON'T JUST USE MORE SALT ON
THE ROAD TO MELT THE FUCKING ICE.
DEC 27 - MORE WHITE SHIT LAST NIGHT. BEEN INSIDE FOR THREE DAYS EXCEPT
FOR SHOVELING OUT THE DRIVEWAY AFTER THAT SNOW-PLOW GOES THROUGH EVERY
TIME, CAN'T GO ANYWHERE, CAR'S STUCK IN A MOUNTAIN OF WHITE SHIT! THE
WEATHERMAN SAYS TO EXPECT ANOTHER 10" OF THE SHIT AGAIN TONIGHT. DO
YOU KNOW HOW MANY SHOVELS FULL OF SNOW 10" IS?
DEC 28 - THE FUCKING WEATHERMAN WAS WRONG. WE GOT 54" OF THAT WHITE SHIT
THIS TIME. AT THIS RATE IT WON'T MELT BEFORE NEXT SUMMER. THE
SNOW-PLOW GOT STUCK UP THE ROAD AND THAT BASTARD CAME TO THE DOOR AND
ASKED TO BORROW MY SHOVEL. AFTER I TOLD HIM I HAD BROKEN SIX SHOVELS
ALREADY SHOVELING THE WHITE SHIT HE PUSHED INTO MY DRIVEWAY, I BROKE
MY LAST ONE OVER HIS FUCKING HEAD.
JAN 4 - FINALLY GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE TODAY, WENT TO THE STORE TO GET
FOOD, ON THE WAY BACK A DAMNED DEER RAN IN FRONT OF THE CAR AND I HIT
IT. DID ABOUT $5,000 DAMAGE TO THE CAR. THOSE FUCKING BEASTS SHOULD
BE KILLED. WISH THE HUNTERS HAD KILLED THEM ALL LAST NOVEMBER.
MAY 5 - TOOK THE CAR TO THE GARAGE IN TOWN, WOULD YOU BELIEVE THE THING
IS RUSTING OUT FROM THAT FUCKING SALT THEY PUT ALL OVER THE ROAD.
MAY 10 - MOVED TO GEORGIA, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND
WOULD EVER LIVE IN THAT GOD-FORSAKEN STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA.