Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing?
Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign?
Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

Policeman: Didn't you see the signs with the speed limit?
Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.

Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going?
Motorist: No, you're the one with the radar.