For the 2000 new year I, and a friend of mine were drinking at my friend's, friend's house, (not at all a party) this friend was rather young (tenth grader) and sort of inexperienced, apparently her idea of "partying" was to get "shitty" off two glasses of wine and listen to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album over and over again. Anyway, we were very bored and disappointed, hardly wanting to spend the turn of the millennium in such a lame way. So, me and my friend decided to steel A LOT of liquor from her and drink it outside. That was right before the countdown. When the countdown had arrived, we were feeling much better. Outside we could here all the commotion and yelling and drunks. We shouted back, searching for some response, or a another location or party or something, I don't know, we just followed the screams into the city, (ditching the young hostess) screaming back at the top of our lungs. Then, after walking a while we found it... A party, mostly guys, all drunks. I think that within 3 minutes of being there, I'd hardly turned my back and my friend was making out with some guy, I turned my back again and she was making out with another guy, I turned my back again, and she was trying to fuck some other guy in the backyard. Now, there were many nice young and strong, drunken males I could have selected from, but basically I thought it was a ghetto thing to do and was gonna hold on to my pride and not make out with any strangers that night...the next thing I knew I was making out with someone. I was on his lap, kissing him, and then suddenly I was blown in the face and on the floor! One moment, safe in a guy's lap, the next, on the floor with a blow to the head! I didn't realize what was happening right away, but once I had time to collect what had happened....this crazy bitch who was a friend of the guy got jealous of me kissing him and punched me in the face, hard enough to throw me, this in front of a room full of people (it was there party too) when I realized all this, still confused and EXTREMELY drunk, I got up and charged at her, tore her shirt off of her, (disabling her to fight back because she had to cover her boobies) and proceeded to knock the shit out of her. Eventually we were "broken up" and I was apologized to and kindly asked to leave by her friends. So I, my friend, and our new bitches I guess, wandered off.

HERE IT GETS A LITTLE FUZZY. My friend and her guy lost us for a moment, then found us in a bush together, just passed out in a bush in someone's yard, almost completely hidden by the foliage. When we were helped out, my bitch, thought he would rejoin the party, only at the wrong house. This house looked nothing like the original either. I watched indifferently as this took place: young man walks up to someone's door and tries to enter, a very large black man in underwear opens door and immediately punches out the young man without saying anything or giving any warning. Young man gathers himself and I help him to walk, I notice I am covered in blood and barely wonder why, mildly concerned, then I realize it isn't my blood. After everything I saw, I don't know why this boy is bleeding, not only that, this poor, once handsome young man, is missing his front teeth. I barely noticed or even cared, I was still laughing and having a great time. Not very long after that, I couldn't really walk, or stand, or sit, so the three of them dragged me (failed to carry me) back to our original hostess's house. My shirt was torn off in the process...p.s., no bra. The chick's parents were there now, so we didn't yet go inside, they laid me on the street in front of her house. For some reason, my friends sent in the bloody guy with no teeth to get the parents, that must have been a bit surprising. I was totally OUT COLD. I could NOT be woken up, and my breathing was erratic and my eyes were rolling back into my head. That's when someone called 911. The paramedics, fire department, and about ten cops showed up, just for little old me. I don't remember anything, so this is what I was told happened: as I was being treated by the paramedics, the cops were questioning my friend and the guys, giving them a bit of a hard time. One of the guys was angry when the cop wouldn't tell him what was wrong with me, and they started arguing, the cop threatened him, so he spit in the cops face!!!!!!!!!! You gotta respect him for that, but then the cop threw the guy so hard into a tree that he broke it with himself... and he went to jail. Also, I had apparently stolen MORE alcohol from that other party, (a whole bottle of Hennessey) and the chick's parents found it and poured it all out. Damn I want that Hennessey!

So this is the total damage....1 guy went to jail, 1 guy lost his teeth, and his ride back home (in another state) two girls got beat up, and one went to the emergency room (me) but for another reason (alcohol poisoning) obviously. The next day I was very dazed and bruised and scratched up, and very, very, hungover. But I still think it kinda rocked.